Aaron Smith & Megan Griffin

Become Aware Then Accept

The first step in overcoming motivational difficulties is becoming aware of what is getting in your way. Once you understand the choices and patterns that tend to trip you up, then you can begin to address those issues. Next, you will need to accept that it will be difficult. You need to accept that it will feel uncomfortable. You will need to accept that every fiber of your being will be trying to pull you away from that boring mundane task. Hang in there! Don’t give in. Defy those instincts and urges, make an intentional choice to suffer through it. No one enjoys suffering, but some suffering is necessary. Like the saying, “No pain, no gain.”   The struggle is real and we need to accept that our brains are not always influencing our behaviors and thoughts in the most healthy or productive ways.  

Getting Over Self-Doubt

From a young age, those of us with ADHD have heard many negative and critical comments. We hear critical things from our teachers and other adults in positions of authority. We hear these messages so often that we start to believe that we are the problem. The world is not a forgiving place of a person with ADHD. We live in a society and moment in time that values productivity and efficiency, over persistence and effort. This often leads to an internalized sense of guilt and despair over our perceived shortcomings. Then as we grow up these external voices transform into an incessant internal voice filled with self-criticism, doubt, worry, anxiety, and shame.

Negativity is the Opposite of Motivation

Therefore if you are feeling bad about yourself and if you spend a lot of your day in your head criticizing yourself, then you will also most likely be unproductive and unmotivated too. Productive people are confident and optimistic. They tend to not to get stuck in their head for too long, second guessing every decision they make. At the very least, they believe in their ability to overcome any obstacles or barriers that life throws at them. When faced with a challenge they don’t start by complaining. They don’t wallow in self-pity. Productive people take charge and take control back. They make a game plan, they develop a strategy, and ultimately they get things done.

Mind Over Matter

If your mindset is negative. Then it’s time to adopt a new mindset – a growth mindset, as the psychologist Carol Dweck’s research supports. A growth mindset is believing that you are capable of increasing your natural intelligence, abilities, skills, and talents with effort. People that have a growth mindset believe that these traits are not inborn and fixed. They believe that with intentional practice they can reach new heights. The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset. People with a fixed mindset, research shows, are less resilient and do not become high achievers. Let’s decide to trade in fixed mindset, the perfectionist mindset, the victim mindset, or any other unhelpful and unhealthy mindset; for a growth mindset, a survival mindset, a healthy and realistic set of expectations, and an accurate appraisal of our own effort and abilities.  

Getting Motivated

One of the key factors contributing to one’s inability to start and follow through with their goals, is their lack of dedication to achieving it. For example, if I have to apply to graduate schools and I am only associating graduate school with something that my parents expect of me, than I will not be as motivated to study for the GREs. However, if I actively try to develop a meaning behind pursuing a masters degree, I will be more likely to not only have the motivation to work on applications, but have better applications in general. For example, thinking that going to graduate school for counseling will be helping me achieve my larger goals of helping others. Dedication comes when we are able to align our goals with an overarching purpose.  

If you are still feeling like you would benefit from additional help, strategies, or support, feel free to reach out us to schedule a free 30-minute consultation to get started with ADHD coaching.

Dweck, C. S. (1986). Motivational processes affecting learning. American Psychologist, 41(10), 1040-1048. doi:10.1037//0003-066x.41.10.1040