Why We Get Stressed and What to Do About It

Megan Griffin & Aaron Smith

We have busy lives and lots of stuff swirling around in our heads. There are constant, seemingly endless streams of activities, responsibilities, and engagements that we have to attend to. Most people neglect to carve enough time out of their busy lives to focus back on themselves. Taking the time to check in with yourself can be a very rewarding thing and lead to an overall better sense of wellbeing and happiness. That is where the concept of mindfulness comes in. Ask yourself, are you in a state of “MindFULLness” or “Mindfulness”? MindFULLness is our default state; Having a constant flood of ideas and thoughts taking us out of the present moment. Mindfulness on the other hand is when you bring your awareness onto something, like your breathing, and notice distracting thoughts and emotions without becoming a slave to them. Mindfulness has been shown to be beneficial for a whole host of conditions, both mental and physical.  Mindfulness can help everything from hypertension and heart disease, to anxiety and depression.

To get started, we then have to value our own mental and physical health (it’s easier said than done!), and start incorporating self-care activities into our daily routines. Mindfulness and meditation might sound like an insurmountable obstacle for someone who has an overactive and easily distractible mind.  Don’t get me wrong, it is hard, but it’s not impossible. With practice and the help of some of the following techniques, you can train your brain to be more attentive and focused and less reactive. The strategies below can help you develop healthy habits that will pay off in the long run.

Let’s look at some of the most helpful ways to go about developing this type of practice.

Take a Deep Breath. Here’s How!

You have probably been told to “just breathe” at some point in your life. It sounds easy right? It is and it isn’t! Using the breath is a powerful and underutilized asset that we all possess. The good thing is that your breath is always with you.  As long as you are alive, you are breathing. However, most people do not know how to breathe deeply enough to reap the benefits.

You must use your diaphragm. Take the time to breathe in and out deeply (try to feel your belly rising and falling). Breathing in fully through your mouth (you should hear a whooshing sound), will lower your heart rate naturally, relax your body, and reduce your levels of stress. When we are stressed and anxious we have the tendency to breathe shallowly, tense up our muscles, and our hearts beat faster.

The key to why this works is that you are focusing your attention on your breath (an anchor point for your attention) and you are also breathing in deeply and holding your breath, which allows your lungs to fill with air and become fully oxygenated.

Here are a Few Specific Breathing Techniques

Besides deep breathing, you can also use the breath in intentional ways. Count your breaths. Dr. Weil explains how to use a technique called 4, 7, 8 (Relaxing Breath) on his website www.drweil.com. He explains how this is done:

• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
• Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
• Hold your breath for a count of seven.
• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
• This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

Another way to focus the breath is to direct it to tense areas of the body. You can think about where you feel tightness, and try to direct those deep breaths towards those muscle groups.

You can also tense and release muscles on purpose. Clench your fists and then release, shrug your shoulders and release, etc. This can be done with any muscle group and is called progressive relaxation. You can start on one end of the body (your head for example) and work your way down (to your toes). All the while you are breathing, tensing and releasing. More helpful techniques can be found here:

https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/stress-anxiety/breathing-three-exercises/.

Regardless of what technique you use, just taking the time to pay attention to your breaths can calm you down and thus, reduce your stress.

Apps That Can Help You Develop a Habit

Mindfulness is something that is becoming more well-known among individuals, and for good reason! Mindfulness is proven to reduce stress, so why not try it out? Being mindful takes practice, but there are many guided tutorials online, apps, and articles on how to get the most out of your practice.  Essentially, mindfulness activities involve closing your eyes, being in the moment, being aware of all that is around, noticing the thoughts that you have, stressful or not, and letting them go.

One of the most well known, as well as helpful apps that help with mindfulness, is the app Headspace. Two other commonly used mindfulness apps are Calm and Meditation Studio.  All of the following programs offer starter plans to understand how you would best experience mindfulness.  These starter plans also help the process of meditation seem less overwhelming and foreign to those that have never practiced it before.  These apps are easy ways to get mindfulness practice integrated into your everyday life, as your phone is already most likely integrated into your life. Having mindfulness activities right at your fingertips makes mindfulness practices more accessible than ever before.

Any Moment Can Become a Mindful Moment

Because not everyone has time to take 30 minutes out of their day to practice mindfulness, we recommend just making time for “moments of mindfulness.”  Sit yourself down, close your eyes, notice your surroundings, your anxieties, and your general thoughts. Accept them, and move your thoughts on to the present again. These moments can be solely based on convenience for you. Maybe you are waiting for your coffee to brew, for your friend to come pick you up, you are doing the dishes, etc.  Whatever it may be, it is up to you.  

To just take those moments to step back from the stress of the day, and bring your attention to yourself, and simply breathe, can be immensely helpful. It can lesson your daily stress levels, improve your mood, and overall help you become more self-aware.  You can even start to like those things that you dread (like doing the dishes), if you start to associate them with mindful moments. This is because you are bringing together possibly dreadful parts of your day, and associating them with time for yourself, to relax, to be mindful, and to breathe.    

You Don’t Have to Sit, You Can Be Active

For some, doing activities such as yoga, walking, dancing, and other less-intense movements can be very calming and can reduce stress as well. For others, more intense workouts such as a run, sports game, workout class, etc. can make them feel their most calm. Whatever it may be for you, take the time to do those things. Although it may seem like by doing so for example, you are taking time away from studying or getting work done that is due, but it can actually save time. If you go about your activities for an hour or so, and then come back to your work, you are going to be calmer and in a better, less distracted headspace that is ready to be productive. Therefore you will get things done quicker and more effectively. For myself, I like to go for a run most days, in order to clear my head from the stress that my life can bring.  No matter how long I go, giving myself that time to be alone, release endorphins, and step away from my direct stresses, overall helps me be a more productive and focused person when getting back into that working zone.  Make sure to figure out what those calming activities are for you, and do them to reduce your stress.

Want to hear more? Then be sure to check out our new Attention Different podcast episode #12: MindFULLness on this very topic!

We hope that you found these tips and strategies useful. If you or someone you know needs extra assistance implementing strategies like the ones discussed above, then our lead ADHD Coach Aaron Smith is here to help! Please reach out to Aaron for a complimentary 30-min. Phone Consultation, or schedule it online, here.