By Megan Griffin and Aaron Smith

Stigma and ADHD

ADHD sadly, tends to have an overly negative label.  It’s important to understand how this negative label impacts the actual folks diagnosed with the condition. The label itself can create all sorts of stigma. Stigma is similar to stereotypes, in the sense that society believes certain things about a group of people that may be reflective of some members, but are not generally true for the group as a whole.  The more you hear something about yourself, even if it is untrue, the more you believe it. They impact the way we, as ADHDers, see ourselves. They impact the way parents, teachers, and partners interpret behaviors. This leads to people with ADHD to be unfairly prejudged and treated in ways that make the problems worse. It is evident that stigma associated with ADHD is a major risk factor and can undermine the effectiveness of treatment and one’s  overall sense of well being. Later in life stigma can also become internalized and affect one’s sense of self in a detrimental ways.

Misconceptions About ADHD

Stigmatizing language also tends to be judgmental and frames things in overly negative ways. For instance, some common misconceptions are that all people with ADHD are hyperactive. Which is not true. Many people also assume that folks with ADHD have an inability to focus. That is also not true.  It is more like an inconsistency of focusing on things that are not naturally interesting or engaging. Still others assume that people with ADHD are scattered, disorganized, lazy, or unmotivated. On the outside individuals with ADHD may appear to act in ways that neurotypical people, or non-ADHD individuals, struggle to comprehend. But they are often not intentionally trying to be “lazy” or “unmotivated.” They are engaged in a battle against their neurochemistry.

Smile in the Face of Adversity

These generalizations and negative connotations do not take into account all of the positive traits that ADHDers have. We are not denying the struggle is real. We struggle each and every day to mitigate the challenges of our ADHD symptoms.  Our point is how we internalize and frame those difficulties makes a world of a difference in how we feel about ourselves and ultimately what we are able to achieve. If someone believes that they are flawed, worthless, inferior, incompetent, disabled, deficient, unable to focus, and so on, how is that helping them move forward and come to grips with reality? It’s not a balanced perspective.  It’s simply put, just negative thinking.  

Therefore, let’s instead focus on the positive qualities, while at the same time acknowledging the challenges. When we have a hard day or unintentionally do something that is stereotypically ADHD, can we find the humor in it? Can we smile in the face of adversity? Can we continue to love ourselves unconditionally in those moments? That’s what we want! That’s what is needed now more than ever. We want a radical shift toward self-acceptance and loving one’s self.

We can reverse the trend by choosing our words intentionally and using balanced language.  But we can err on the side of positivity, focusing more on the strengths, talents, and abilities rather than the negatives, no matter what age we are.  We were born with a neurological difference.  It’s only a disability, disorder, or deficit in certain contexts.  In some contexts our greatest weaknesses are our greatest strengths.  Let’s build each other up instead of knocking each other down.  

It All Starts With Understanding

At times it may feel like reframing ADHD, confronting stigma, and adopting radical self-acceptance is easier said than done.  It all starts with how we understand the label. It starts with how our doctors, clinicians, and parents speak to us (the ADHDer) about “what ADHD is and what it is not.”

Parents and ADHD

Parents should talk about ADHD in a way that promotes understanding; Listening to their child about what is going on for them, as well as always holding a space for an unwavering belief in the child’s innate capacities for growth and inborn positive attributes. In general it’s about communicating unconditional love.  Using a calm tone and positive words is ideal for parents in order to promote their children’s self-esteem and self-concept.  A parent should try to not be condescending when talking about something that’s outside their child’s control and shame or blame the child for behaviors related to their ADHD. Doing so can cause children to feel incompetent.  For example, saying things like “you never clean up when I ask” is not only most likely untrue, but not helpful.  Saying something like “I know that you have had other things on your mind, but I would really appreciate it if you would go upstairs and clean your room” is much more helpful.  

Parents need to be aware of their own frustrations and not come across as annoyed and upset.  It’s more helpful for parents to model good self-regulation and consistent balanced communication so that their children model that.  Likewise, it’s also helpful to be honest about how ADHD is something that is going to make their children’s lives challenging at times, but at the same time recognize the individual’s unique strengths.  For example telling their kids things like “I know you may have trouble in math sometimes, but your talent at the guitar is amazing, and I am so proud of the way you have worked so hard at it.”  It’s crucial that parents truly believe that these unique traits and strengths that come from ADHD exist.

Professionals and ADHD

The communication of ADHD from professionals (clinicians, doctors, tutors, etc.) is key to the understanding of one’s ADHD as well.  One should be very careful about how the diagnosis is framed to the individual with ADHD right off the bat.  A helping professional should try not to induce fear by harping on the negative aspects, without conveying a sense of hope. Just as in a parenting situation, stating that there will be some challenges, however ADHD will come with those unique traits, is very crucial.   

Take Action

If you are passionate about reducing this stigma  and the way it makes you feel and perform, assert yourself in this area as well! Be more assertive to your parents, teachers, friends, etc.  Don’t be afraid to speak your opinion.  It’s your life and your ADHD.  For example, don’t be afraid to ask a professor or teacher if you can change your assignment around a little bit so that it focuses more on your strengths.  For example, making a sculpture instead of writing an essay.  Or don’t be afraid to tell your friends if they are making things difficult for you that you don’t like the way they are talking to you and/or making assumptions about you based on your ADHD.  The point is, if you are dedicated to not letting this stigma affect your self worth, then be assertive about how to improve your situations!

The Struggle is Real, But So are Your Strengths

To sum it up, the struggle is real, but so are the strengths. Channel your strengths and mitigate your weaknesses. Positive self-talk and reframing negative experiences are the most constructive paths towards overcoming life’s daily challenges. To fully love ourselves, we must learn to accept ourselves, ADHD and all.

 Things like coaching, therapy, exercise, diet, structure and routines at home can be very helpful as well and that extra push in the right direction!  Look to our previous blog posts and resources to see how you can make your ADHD a little easier on you.  But remember to never let those stigmas define you.  You are so much more than preconceived, untrue notions.