Nervous But Excited

When entering college, there are a lot of things to be excited about.  New friends, new experiences, new classes, and much more.  However going to college also comes along with many new challenges that one has to face.  A lot of this is due to the new independence and freedom that one has when entering college.  Another major aspect of transitioning to college has to do with the rigor of school work.  Regardless of why many struggle with transitioning to college, there are many ways to deal with these challenges, so it doesn’t always have to be that way.  Sure, it will take trial and error, however figuring out how to navigate through these issues on the outset is well worth the time investment it will take to generate a game plan.

Can You Really Balance Everything?

One of the largest issues that students face when going into college is balancing all of the new competing activities in their lives.  With their parents likely no longer handling things like sports, education, laundry, expenses, appointments, getting up on time, meals etc. it can become somewhat overwhelming to all of a sudden be in charge of making sure that you have time for all of these things in your life, let alone have the skills to manage them.  Granted, this new independence is a lot to handle all at once, but it is possible to find something as close to complete balance as possible through practice and patience.  Start with baby steps. Write out a college plan, what are your goals in all of those areas (sports, education, laundry, school, expenses, appointments, getting up on time, food)?  How will you make sure that you make time for all of these things?  What is most important to you that you focus on first? Making a priorities and goals list can be a very helpful first step to getting and staying on top of things in college.

Where Is My Life Going?

Another issue that comes with transitioning from high school to college is challenges with schoolwork. One’s motivation to get things done in high school usually revolves around getting into a good college, but when deciding on which school to go to, school then becomes more about long term goals – i.e. setting the foundation for your future career.  For example, one is trying their best in college in order to get the best grades for their major, which will help them be well prepared for their future job(s).  There then comes the challenge of feeling that you need to know what you want to do in the future.  But do not feel the need to rush that process, you have four years to figure out where you want your life to lead! Most schools allow you to explore different majors up until the end of your Sophomore and/or beginning of your Junior year. As long as you are actively engaged in your classes and intentionally sign up for different types of classes that may be of interest to you, you will bring yourself closer to that realization.  

When thinking about the future, the added pressure to do well in school in order to prepare for that future can arise as well.  Treat school like you would treat your job. Serious students that show up for classes on time and consistently attend are more likely to do well. Likewise one needs to be on top of their schoolwork and prepare by doing readings, studying, and homework outside of class.  Classes are often every other day, and quizzes and tests are also usually more spread out in time.  So students need to plan their homework and studying in advance, so they are not saving things until there is not enough time to get them done.  Having a planner (paper or digital), reminders on one’s phones, and to do lists, can also be very helpful in staying on top of work.  Those with ADHD may need somewhat more time to get their classwork done, so it is important that they also make sure that they are estimating adequate blocks of time to get all of their school work done. With the often large openings of “free time” in one’s schedule it can be tempting to go back to their room, take a nap, or hang out with friends off campus. However the most successful students are the ones that stay on campus, do work from a study room, the library, or a cafe and utilize these openings as “study/homework time” instead of “free time.” You don’t have to know what you ultimately want to do once you are out of college, but knowing why you are in college and taking it seriously with a degree of self-responsibility and maturity makes a big difference. Once you do land on a major or find a favorite Professor, pursue that vein because following your interests and passions can create drive and motivation to achieve your long term goals.

New People Galore

A challenge that is also common is the overwhelming feeling that can come with meeting a large amount of new people at one given time.  Usually, one is used to having had a small set of friends for an extended period of time back home.  For instance, having gone to the same school with certain people from middle school through high school.  It can be scary to all of a sudden not have those people right by your side! Plus you don’t have that shared history or common experiences to bond from. That is challenging and you will need to really step outside of your comfort zone in order to find those close friends again.  But this is nothing to be too worried about.  There are many orientation activities that are usually set up by a school to help with this process, as well as strategic dorming, clubs, activities, sports, and many other ways to meet new people and lessen this anxiety around acquiring another set of close friends.  If you are still nervous about this, make plans to get meals at the dining hall with new people you have gotten along with so far, or make study dates with people you like in your classes.  Everyone is in the same boat, it is not as weird to reach out as you may think.  They are most likely just as scared as you, even if they don’t show it.

Peer Pressure

Although college comes along with many new friendships and experiences, peer pressure is bound to occur at some point, which can sometimes be hard to fight against.  For example, if you are planning to study one night, and then a friend asks you to hang out, it can be hard to not give in to going out with that friend. This is especially true if it’s a person that you enjoy spending time with and want to get closer with or a new friendship that you don’t want to disappoint.  Not giving into peer pressure can also be especially hard because there is a lot more free time given to students, which they may not be used to.  So knowing that you have all of that extra time in a day, can make it even harder to choose to be productive rather than be with friends.  On top of all of this, those with ADHD may find it even more difficult to not give in to these friends, due to issues with impulse control and tendencies to procrastinate on uninteresting or cumbersome school work.  It is important that the majority of the time, you stick to your educational goals and do not give in to that peer pressure if your original plan was to study, no matter what circumstance you find yourself in.  This does not mean that you cannot ever make exceptions and carve out time for friends. It just means that you need to save time for school work, and balance that with friends and plan for unanticipated situations that may arise. You can’t always plan around when your friends might ask you to come out to a party, but you can choose to be productive during the daytime hours and have loads more time for friends come evening time.  You can just let go and relax because you won’t have that paper or chapter readings looming over you. That’s precisely why using that planner, creating daily to-do lists, and sticking to reminders is helpful, not just for your grades but your social life as well. Keep your priorities in check, that way you can block out your time in order to be productive.    

Keeping in Touch

When getting wrapped up in these new experiences and friends, it can be hard to keep in touch with those from home as well.  Another part of growing up also comes with making time for those that are important in one’s life.  It is easy to maintain communication in high school with friends and family when you are seeing them almost every day at one point or another.  But when you go away to college, you need to make time for those relationships, on top of all of the new things that you are getting involved in.  So one needs to also think about what their plans are for keeping in touch.  For example, calling parents at least once a week, asking old friends how they are doing frequently, etc.  In keeping up with those loving and close relationships from home, one can feel even more confident and safe in their new environment at school, knowing that they always have people by their side no matter how far away they are.  

Stressed Out!

Generally, with this new sense of independence and new level of school work, stress occurs. Those with ADHD may especially struggle with stress because of the tendencies and behavioral patterns they developed for dealing with troubles in school and at home.  So for almost all challenges that one may face when transitioning from high school to college, ways to reduce stress will be of great help.  For example, for those with ADHD, making sure that they are getting the right accommodations in school (such as getting extra time) and having those reminders to do things such as pick up their medication from the pharmacy, can make things a lot less stressful. Things such as getting enough sleep, exercising, a healthy diet, and meditating, can also help a great deal with stress.  So make your bed as comfy as possible (enticing you to want to get an adequate amount of sleep) and sign up for that yoga class or join the gym!  The more you make time for activities and helpful tools such as these, the better other aspects of your new college life will fall into place.  

Growing Up

Remember with all of these challenges and learning opportunities comes a great deal of personal growth! While you may feel nervous about college and unsure about some things, you should be beyond excited to head to college if this is your stage in life right now.  The negatives stated above do not have to outweigh the positives.  All of the ways that were suggested to deal with these challenges take some trial and error, so don’t give up! Find what works for you, create a college plan, locate the academic strategies that will help you be successful, and put a support network in place. There are many ways to balance your new life and nobody does this perfectly, so just remember to try your best and adapt to the difficulties. To paraphrase Darwin, it’s the most adaptive that survive.

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If you or your child are needing some further guidance on identifying a college plan, preparing for this transition, and wanting more assistance in developing your goals, please feel free to reach out to us and schedule a complimentary consultation to see if coaching is right for you.